Monday, May 29, 2006
4 days without any updates, and....
Yes, i havent been updating for 4 days now. These 4 days, i was thinking of something to post. But... nothing came inspiring my mind.I was bored, i had a game of I-snooker just now. I discovered a 4-lines joke and this makes up 1 line for each day of no-updates. :D
FYI.. Guest1455 is me.
Guest1455 : HELLO!
Guest1332 : hi!
Guest1455 : I am retarded!
Guest1322 : I'm freddie.
He actually thought my name was retarded. LOL.
posted by des @ 3:07 PM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Bubblegum and its uses...
As you guys know, bubblegum is banned in Singapore. And why did the government ban it, i really dont know. I mean its all about the litter problem blah blah blah... that fellow singaporeans keep complaining. Maybe thats what we do best, but who cares? People here still eat it anyway. In contrast, i think they shouldnt have ban bubblegum at all. Check it out right here at NNA(no-not-again), the fabulous uses of bubblegum!Firstly, bubblegum help reduce weight!
And.. helps harvest coconut at ease!
And Lastly...
See.. i told you! They shouldnt have ban it at all!
posted by des @ 8:31 PM
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Advice Needed
I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs: Whenever i'm with her and her hp rings, she turns back, answers, whispers something and hangs up. Then i ask what's wrong and she'll always try to divert my attention and change topic. Also, she started going out 'with her friends' a lot recently although when i ask which friends, it is always "Just some friends from work lo, you don't know them one la." I once picked her hp up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that i should never touch her phone again.
Anyway, i have never approached this subject with my gf. I think deep down i just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and i decided to check on her. I decided i was going to hide under her block she's staying and true enough, she came down with a cute guy hand in hand and he drives a Corolla Altis. I was so angry that i wanted to teach this bitch a lesson by blackmailing her. So i took out my Motorola L7 and tried to take pictures of them. It was then that i noticed the camera function wouldn't work.
Should i take my L7 to a Motorola service centre or should i just buy a new phone?
abstracted from weiyuan's abandoned blog
posted by des @ 2:09 PM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
A Secret Mission
I was browsing through my folder and i stumbled upon a file called "File Name 6653 (Confidential)" I thought for awhile and couldnt tell why is there a confidential file in my computer.
I decided to open it out of curiousity. And on the 1st page, it goes like this..
CONFIDENTIALITY: If this document has been sent to you by mistake, please delete it immediately. As it may contain confidential information, the retention or dissemination of its contents may be an offence under the Official Secrets Act.
Certainly, one of my family members is a current agent of the IMF (impossible mission force), i thought to myself. I continued reading and found out it was all but a joke.
CODE NAME: PROJECT MOLE
Commander: Louis Teo
In Charge: Kelvin Song
Huang Yonglin
VIP: Tommy (Protect the VIP)
INTRODUCTION
WMO is looking for a place to base their HQ and Ubin is being chosen. From Satellite Image, 3 areas of resistance still exist and are located at Quarry Peak, Lion Head and Chek Jawa. A group of WMO personnel are to send there immediately to take them all down.
LOCATION
Around Ubin.
MISSION
Eliminate Resistance and Celebration at Chek Jawa.
And so... a pulau ubin trip became like a mission just because of this document. -.-
Quarry Peak was the highest point in Ubin. It has a significant view and friends told me people dug a hole(which it became a quarry now) to find materials in there. And why is it filled with water now i really dont know. Maybe the rain came down and water couldnt evaporate for some reasons. Illogical but thats the only reason that i can think of.
Oh yeah, resistance that we fought on the quarry peak is................
TA DA! A Blueberry-arse ant! how cute! we smashed him without a gun, but our foot. And that was conquered with ease.
We then proceed to the next destination called "Lion Head"
On our way, i asked some questions like..
Why is that place called "Lion Head"?
What kind of resistance will we face there? A strawberry-arse ant this time round?
Nobody answered me. Maybe they couldnt hear me or something...
After walking miles and miles in the forest, we reached the place. no resistance or whatsoever except for the blood thirsty mosquitoes which i swear i gonna bring a "baygon" the next time if im on another mission of the same genre!
A Fucking lion head on a rock and this place became known as the "Lion Head". How fucking amusing. lol.. Anyway i heard that it was supposed to be a military symbol in the past.
Last destination was Chek Jawa. It is highly dangerous. And why is it so? Because it is an out of bound area in ubin. We waited till evening and when the guards are sleeping, we sneaked in! Oh yeah, police had dogs to help them for investigation. We had a cat...
But it was a darn lazy cat and it couldnt help much as it was sleeping all day long.
We decided to abandon him and left.
Chek jawa was a place that is full of shit(lots of mud on the ground). I swear i not gonna go in again if i ever had another chance. We took some pics when the sun is setting.
Probably the smallest full moon you've ever seen.
And it was later on, that the moon emerged and the sun goes down. lights off and we met resistance!
We assumed it was a wild boar as we couldnt see him at all. Heard of those tales about running zig zag when u saw a wild boar so it couldnt catch up with you because it has no sense of directions? Like i could run zig zag at this point of time! All of us ran in a linear direction off from the boar as though we saw a ghost with a bloody face, eyes coming out from the sockets, nose crooked, and a mouth huge enough to eat up your whole head!
Sad and disappointed(fun nonetheless), we left chek jawa.. and so it was mission failed just because of a boar which we couldnt even see. :(
P.S. You guys better appreciate this shit because it took me a whole hour just to post this shit up. Photobucket was undergoing maintenance when im halfway through this shit. Am very sleepy so if it wasnt that entertaining dont blame me for it :P
posted by des @ 1:52 AM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
English Lessons.
Lets have some english lessons..posted by des @ 3:50 PM
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
What girls said, and what they really meant.
In response to ede's latest entry on what boys think, and what they really meant(Click here to see it), i have posted this up for amusement.Words women used:
"FINE"
This is the word women use to end an argument. They think they are right and you need to shut up.
"FIVE MINUTES"
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch a soccer game before helping around the house.
"NOTHING"
This is calmness before a storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end with a "Fine".
"GO AHEAD"
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
"LOUD SIGH"
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
"THAT'S OKAY"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
and last but not least....
"WHATEVER"
It's a woman's way of saying FUCK YOU!
posted by des @ 6:57 PM
Monday, May 15, 2006
Mother's Day
Yesterday was mother's day.. and as usual, being the pitiful mother of mine, she gets no grand presents, no big ang baos, no exclusive dinner, no delicious cakes or anything that she has ever expected.Thats the so called "tradition" in my family. We dont celebrate birthdays, mother's day, father's day or any day that is worth celebrating. However, for the first time in history, I for once, give some tips for a gift that my mother would received..
Mum: Hey u idiot! where's my mother's day present?
Me: Dont have la.. I no money leh..
Mum: ......... Today mother's day leh, give me 4 numbers la. i go buy 4D, maybe got luck.
Me: I playing game la.. dont 'fan' me! go buy "0000" la .. sure open!
Mum: $%^&*()_&^%$ (wtf.. i have such an unfilial son..)
Results out in the evening :
Not my fault anymore. i did give her a gift, but she rejected it. lol..
posted by des @ 3:14 PM
Friday, May 12, 2006
So true..
A friend showed me this .. He said so true.. and i definitely agreed.Its a song lyrics by blink 182 though.
I'll see you
at a movie
sneak preview
You'll show up
and walk by
on the arm
of that guy
And I'll smile
and you'll wave
we'll pretend
it's okay
The charade
it won't last
when he's gone
I won't come back
posted by des @ 11:35 AM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
DotaKey & The World's Balance.. (Double Entry)
i shall make it a double entry this time to make up for the lack of updates.Firstly, No.1 PS Kid CK is back on my blog! This time round, an entry something to do with dota. He had a friend who created a dota key program. This program will reconfig all the skills of heroes to 'Q','W','E','R' on the keyboard. As most of you guys playing dota know that the item usage keys are on the extreme right of the keyboard, this slows down the way u react and certainly affects your micro skill. However, with this program, the num pad config is now just directly above the "qwerty" keys, yup those number keys.
Ck: yay! easy key.
Me: FUCK U! Thats considered cheating. Cheaters ought to just die!
Ck: Not cheater lo.. is convenience to execute key. lol own u all liao!
Clever as it may seems, but i still feel its cheating. Despise those who cheats in games!
Oh yeah.. for the record, last 2 weeks ago, i had my longest ever dota game. 2hrs 38 mins. fucking long can. feel like quitting but didnt.. basically almost(notice i said almost) everyone had Divine Rapier and Aegies. -.-
Enough of the dota and CK crap..
Yesterday, a friend of mine had a 2nd birthday for this year alone. I havent even had my 1st, she wants a 2nd. How greedy! lol.. She had a wish.. An impossible wish as it may seems, "World Peace" - wish that no country, religion, people will have conflicts against each other.
"Its impossible. Even if im god, i cant help you. I cant distort the balance of this world. " - my reply to her.
In my opinion, this world has a balance. There is always good and evil people around.. therefore, there will be conflict. Even in a particular entity, i always believe no matter how good a person is, there will always be an evil side of him.. and vice versa. Think about it, ever wonder why are there opposites? rich vs poor, love vs hate, good-looking vs ugly, healthy vs ill, good vs evil? Balance, exactly. As cruel as the world may seems, This is the world's balance. Imagine a world with only the positive side, where everybody is rich, love each other, good-looking, healthy, and good .. no conflict of ideas? no discussions? no challenge? no standard? whats the purpose? whats so interesting? There's only 1 way to get rid of this balance.. that is when the world falls apart meaning "End Of the World" ....
posted by des @ 9:42 AM
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Chou Nan Ren
posted by des @ 2:27 PM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Technology is scary..
Nowdays, technology is advancing in such a scary speed. Remember when i was young, everybody was still using handphone as big as a small pillow. Look at handphones now - compared to last time, its so OMG in so many ways! Not only does the size changes drastically, there is also camera cum hp now.. mp3 cum hp.. and latest i heard is tv cum hp. its advancing so so fast...........Today, i have received an even shockingly email sent by a friend regarding some special pens. Below are some of the pics, so check it. I dont know whether its true anot though, so dont ask me :P
Looks normal ? lol.. read on.
Oh! Pen cum cam! Omg! ridiculous right?! thats what i thought too.... knn, camera in a pen. How ridiculous can it be?!
When i fucking saw this shit, i shouted "WTF!" out loud. wahahah.
I think these could be fake pictures.. technology fakes it. But, these pens could really be a possibility of laptops in the future. Who knows? Just like last time, people thought there aint anything that can fly across the skies... look what we got now? Aeroplanes, even rockets and spaceships..
Nothing is impossible as even impossible says i-m-possible.
posted by des @ 9:39 PM
Monday, May 01, 2006
My bro is a genius!
If you are wondering whats the best way to deal with spywares and popups, the most common way most people will think of is installing adware and remove those spywares.However, my bro is a genius. He has a better and different way. Since popups are launched by IE - Internet Explorer, so the best way to stop popups is to stop the launcher. Therefore, he deleted my Internet Explorer.
Bro: "Kor! your computer no more popups liao.. i delete the internet explorer so they cant pop anymore." (Laughing hysterically)
ME : @#$%Y&^&*)%@#$% &@&*&%@&(*^@ @)^*(@*^() )^@*@()^)^
posted by des @ 3:05 PM